10 Tips for Writing your own Wedding Vows
You and your partner have decided to write your own personal vows, but as you sit down to write, you begin to think, “What will I say?” Whether you are pledging your promises in front of family and friends or professing your love privately, these 10 quick tips will help get you started.
Review expectations with your partner.
One of the biggest stressors couples experience is how his or her vows will measure up to his or her partner’s. Cut out all that extra anxiety by discussing key details such as: length of vows and overall tone of the vows (sentimental, funny, religious, etc.)
think back to how it all started
How did your love story begin? What attracted you to your partner? Do you have a funny memory to share or one that is adorably romantic?
think to the future
Where do you picture your relationship in a year? Five or ten years? What can you realistically promise to offer your spouse for the future?
what will you commit to for your partner?
Marriage will have many seasons. What can you promise your spouse through each of those seasons? These promises can be serious such as always choosing to stand by his/her side during times of adversity. Or funny such as, I promise to always pick my clothes up off the bathroom floor. A healthy balance of both is a fun way to keep it playful but honest.
find inspiration in movies, songs, or poems
Struggling to come up with the perfect words? Search your favorite movies or songs for quotes to use as strong starting points.
How has your life changed?
In what ways has your life changed since you met your partner? How have you grown over time as a couple? What have you learned and in what ways has your life become more enriched?
turn to your religion, beliefs, and culture
Are there bits of advice or inspiration you can find in your own religious beliefs? What family traditions or cultural morals will you bring to the marriage?
start writing early
Begin writing your vows at least 2-3 months before your wedding. Do not leave your vows as a last minute wedding detail; they deserve careful time and consideration. Start early and go through a few drafts before settling on the exact words.
set a time limit
Discuss an estimated time limit with your partner. Although there is no one size fits all when it comes to writing your own personal vows, keeping your words about one to two minutes in length is a solid amount of time. Yes, you are pledging your love, but be sure you are direct and to the point with your promises. This is not the time to write your first romance novel!
practice reading out loud
Grab a recording device (your Smartphone works great) and record yourself reading your vows. Listening back to your own words at a later time will help you pinpoint elements you love and those elements you might want to tweak.